Psychologies Magazine 11/12/18

Love and celibacy - “don’t we deserve the whole package?”

Mary Fenwick, agony aunt for Psychologies magazine, responds to this letter from a reader:

I am in a celibate relationship and have been for a few years. I think it’s romantic love and I feel cared for, which is something that was missing in my life - I had a violent and abusive upbringing. There is a medical problem that could be resolved but my partner is unwilling to take action despite my pleading, as he is afraid.

I am becoming lonelier and lonelier and my self esteem has dwindled. I have also started to get angry when there are silences between us - he is less chatty than I am - as it just feels like another rejection and neglect.

Recently I have begun acting inappropriately and am afraid that I will be unfaithful, which also makes me feel guilty. What should I do? I am too young to live like this. I love him but don’t we deserve the whole package? Or is that a myth?