Psychologies Magazine 07/05/19

When and how to enforce rules with a teenager - Psychologies magazine agony aunt, Mary Fenwick, answers this question from a reader:

"My son is 14 and a full-on teenager and I am struggling. He can be viciously rude and unpleasant to me, which I find really upsetting. I have managed to keep some rules in place (I take his phone at night and limit his gaming time) but he now refuses to come on any family trips and becomes furious if I try to monitor his schoolwork. I know other parents judge me when they want to meet up and he won’t come, and part of me feels like I should make him, but how? Or should I just let him say no? He is not unhappy – I hear him laughing with friends online and he is doing OK at school, and he does tell me things when he is in a good mood. Also he is not drinking or taking drugs. Any tips to manage this better? I just don’t know when to enforce rules and when to let things go."